A Day at the Pool

BEWARE - if you do not have little boys, you may find yourself grossed out by the end of this story. If you do have little boys, then this is probably just another day in your life.

Since our pass to the rec center expired today, I decided to take the boys swimming one last time. It was great. A little too windy to plunge in the outdoor pool for them, but they swam like crazy inside for two hours. A little more than half way into our adventure, Ash decided that he had to go to the bathroom. I took them into the family bathroom, but there were still seperate stalls for men and women and only one of each. My question is - What's the point of a "family bathroom." It would have been much quicker for me just to take them into the ladies room, but I wanted to follow the rules, and it is really beside the point anyway.

Taz went into the men's room and Ash and I waited for the women's to open up. Apparently it was taking a bit too long, because Asher said, "Mom, this is an emergency, so I need to pee right here."

You see, I had taught him earlier in the week that sometimes in an emergency, we need to pee outside. This, however, was not quite what I had in mind.

Luckily, Taz finally stepped out of the men's room and so I took Asher in there. I didn't care if people judged me. I figured that Asher is a boy, it was a single stall with a lock on the door any way, and why the heck were the bathrooms not unisex in the first place? Whatever...

Before I continue, I must give a little background on my Asher. He is a creature of habit. He get's this from his dad. He likes routine. He likes sameness, and he has to be prepared for change because it can really cause major anxiety for him (hence the reason we had a lengthy discussion earlier in the week about "emergency peeing outside.)

When he was first potty trained, he was too short to stand up. Now he is plenty tall, but because of his personality, this transition has not been easy - aka. I have given up and let him go to the bathroom however he wants - EXCEPT in public. This mommy hates the idea of germs and so I have told my boys that if they use a toilet in public, they must stand up or not use it at all. I convinced Asher to come to my way of thinking by telling him that the toilets have lots of "peeps and poops on them and are scusting." Whatever works, right?

Needless to say, Asher is not a pro at standing up to pee. So, we go into the bathroom, and I don't even have to remind him of my rules - he knows them. He starts to pee and somehow, it ends up on the seat. Taz starts to laugh. Asher starts to laugh and then he toots, which makes him laugh more, which makes Taz laugh more, and before I even know what is happening, Asher is spraying everywhere like a fire hose, hitting the seat, the wall, anywhere BUT the inside of the toilet bowl, and laughing his guts out. I am yelling in my craziest mom voice, "IN THE TOILET! SHOOT IT IN THE TOILET!"

...mmm...

I cleaned it up. We washed our hands, and were on our way.

It was only as I exited the stall that I realized how thin the door really is. Everyone was looking at us. Some were chuckling. Some were trying harder to hide it. But everyone knew what was going on.

The funniest part about the whole story is that I wasn't even all that embarrassed. I feel like I am becoming a calloused veteran mom of boys. Stuff like this just happens. I wanted to share the story, because I like when other mom's of boys share their crazy boy moments. It makes me feel like my life is not a circus, but pretty normal. Two years ago, I would not have felt this way. I probably would have been mortified and went home, crying before I even reached my car.

...boys...

PS - I feel I must step up on my soap box for a moment. I am sick, sick, SICK of seeing pre-teen girls in skimpy bikini's. Where are their parents?