I saw a movie not too long ago that talked about the "Marriage 80/20 Rule." In a nutshell it means that in most marriages each person really only gets 80% of what they want and that the reason marriages often end in failure is that people focus too much on the 20% they don't have until it consumes them so much that they ultimately end up sacrificing more for less. The major problem with this lies in the fact that most of them don't realize their bad math skills until it is too late. I remember hearing this theory and thinking about how much sense it makes and determining to focus on what I do have (which not to brag, but is probably more like 95% of what I want and the 5% I don't have is petty things like I wish Scott could sing, be an heir to billions of dollars so we could go to Disneyland once per month, and that he would go running with me) instead of the things that I don't.
Today I was thinking about this a lot. Not in terms of my marriage, but in terms of my boys and being a mom. Man, I love those kids. They make me crazy, they demand too much of me, Asher refuses to wipe his own bum, but WHAT would I do without them? Maybe this is on the forefront of my mind because they have been gone all weekend. Actually, I am sure this is why today I am grateful for the percentage of whatever it is I want and need that they do give me in my life. I can't really put a number to it, but it's at least 80%, and although I don't know the exact number, what I do know it this:
Someday there will be time for me to go shopping by myself and to eat a whole cookie by myself and to sleep in as long as I want to and to watch whatever it is I want to watch on TV and to have a career and to have my life feel like it's really MINE.
Someday there wont be fingerprints all over the fridge because there are no grubby hands to put them there...
Someday I wont be someones favorite person just because I am me...
Someday there will be no one to wake me up at 6:45 just because they have waited all night to snuggle...
Someday I wont get attacked with an overabundance of hugs and kisses, because as it has been put to me, "Mom, I just can't stop loving you everyday!"
Someday...
As I said before, I don't know everything, but what I do know is that when it really boils down to it, being the Mom is pretty great...
...but I'm still thankful for a weekend to myself so that I could remember that!
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2 comments:
I love this Missy! I think about the 80/20 rule too... how true this is! It applies to relationship FOR SURE!!! It applies to so much!
Missy, I have always thought you were such a wonderful mom, and someone to look up to. Those "somedays" can be a little heartbreaking to think of, which I guess is whay makes the "todays" so important!
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