A Pinkie-Promise

Last Friday was not my best day. It began Thursday afternoon with Taz complaining that his throat hurt and throwing up. By that evening he seemed better. He even seemed better the next morning. However that afternoon he wouldn't eat anything because his throat hurt so bad and when I checked him, he had a fever, so I did what any parent would do and took him to the doctor. On the way there:

Taz (through tear-filled eyes and a choked up voice): "Mom. I don't want a shot."

Me (Reassuringly): "Buddy, you won't get a shot today, I promise. They only give you shots when you are healthy - not when you are sick."

Taz: "Pinkie-Promise?"

Me: "Pinkie-Promise." - which between me and Taz is the strongest of ALL promises...

We get to the doctor. They take a strep test. It shows positive IMMEDIATELY, so quickly in fact that the doctor told Taz that he now holds the record for the quickest positive result of a strep test. Taz has VERY large tonsils normally (he always has), and on this particular day they were so swollen and infected that they were near touching. The doctor said to me -

Doctor: "We have two options. We can give him antibiotics for ten days (at which point I am thinking "I can't even get the kid to swallow water. How in the world am I going to talk him into taking this medicine?"), or we can give him an "injection."


Now, from my experience working in the dental field, I know that "injection" is the fancy word for "shot" which professionals use when talking to parents if the anxious child, who would ABSOLUTELY FREAK OUT if the word "shot" was mentioned, is in the room. There is a cardinal rule that we have at work and it is very frustrating when parents break it - NEVER TELL THE CHILD THEY ARE GOING TO GET A SHOT! Fib, distract, use a fancy word like "injection," do what ever it takes, just don't use that four-letter-word.

I try really hard to follow this rule, and I knew that the shot was the best option. However, I had made a pinkie-promise to Taz. I had only a moment to decide what to do. I knew that I could take the easy route and use the above mentioned fancy word or any of the other techniques, but in that moment I decided that the most important thing for Taz in all of this was for him to know he could trust his mom and that I would never trick him or lie to him. I looked at the doctor and said...

Me: "I promised him that he wouldn't get a shot today, but I know that is the best option, so I need to tell him."

Doctor (looking at me like, "You crazy woman! Why on earth would you let a five-year-old make a decision like this?"): "Ohhhhkayyy."

I collect myself and walk over to my sick little man.

Me: "Buddy...they need to give you a shot because you are so sick."

Taz (FREAKING OUT): "NO! NEVER EVER! NOT IN 100 YEARS! I 100 % (he is really into the number 100) DO NOT WANT A SHOT! MOM! YOU PINKIE-PROMISED!"

This rant went on for quite some time. It also included throwing up about five times, with vomit getting all over me, himself, the floor in a couple of places, and finally a bucket, me threatening to leave him alone with the doctors, but seeing the terror in his eyes, knowing that I didn't have the heart when I saw the look of absolute terror in his eyes, and finally three of us holding down his 37 lb. body (yes, he is very tiny, but VERY strong!), with me at his head hugging him and telling him how brave he is and how much I love him. In the end he got the shot, three suckers and a gumball and he was still not happy. When I called Scott to tell him what had happened, Taz said...

Taz: "Tell Dad I had a hard day."

Cute... I took him for a milkshake, and we didn't talk the whole way there (except for the time when I asked him if he would forgive me and he said he was still thinking about it). I was a little rattled and feeling like the worlds worst mom. I had made my child endure something that I promised would not happen. I had tried to make it right by telling him that it really was the best thing for him, and I knew it had been the best thing for him. So, why did I feel so awful and like such a bad mom? Was it perhaps the look on Taz's face when I told him that I was wrong and had to break my promise? Was it the frustration of the doctor at my inability to handle this situation perfectly? I didn't know, and I started to cry.

We had ordered the milkshakes and were waiting for them when I turned to Taz with tears in my eyes and said...

Me: "Taz I pinkie promise 100% that I didn't know they would give you a shot. That has never happened before. I was just trying to do the right thing and make you better, because you are so important to me and I just want you to feel good and be safe."

pause

Taz: "Mom, because you are such a great mom do you know what you get? You get to have one of my suckers. You can pick your favorite. And do you know what else you get? A kiss." He proceeded to kiss my hand. "And do you know what else? That shot worked 100% good because I can swallow and I feel better, 100%.

Me: "It must have been a magic shot!"

I learned something that day from my five-year-old about real, true forgiveness. I had done something to him that he thought was wrong. I had broken a pinkie promise. Whether intentional or not, I had hurt him. It took him a bit to forgive me, but once he did, it was complete forgiveness. Never once from that point on did he mention that I had broken our pinkie promise. Nor did he think it (I know this because Taz has no filter and every thought in his head comes out of his mouth). He had forgiven me and in his mind I was not a liar or a person not to be trusted, but a great mom. In fact, the best mom.

I used to always say to Taz...

Me: "How did I get so lucky to have such a great boy."

He has picked up on it and now says to me almost daily...

Taz: "How did I get so lucky to have such a great mom?"

It's moments like these that make me forget the "bad Fridays" in my life.