This is NOT Happening!

Yesterday at church was yet another one of those classic, "This is NOT happening to me!" moments. First of all, we were not LATE to sacrament meeting, but the 2nd counselor in the Bishopric had gotten up to talk before we had taken our seats, which frazzled me a little. Luckily, however, I had spotted an open bench on the second side row. "Not too bad," I thought to myself. I made my way over and was just about to sit down, when "sniff, sniff"...poopy pants. I mean seriously! I had just BARELY put a fresh diaper on Asher before we left home! I honestly don't know why I'm surprised. I think it happens like that quite often. Anyway, I quietly and quickly tell Taz that I need to change Asher's diaper and to sit really still while I'm gone. I also remind him that his Dad has a perfect view of him from the stand! I change Asher, come back into the chapel, sit down, take a deep breath, and begin the routine of handing our crayons, coloring books, books about Jesus during the sacrament, granola bars - you mom's out there know the drill. When it comes to small children and church, I think the main goal is to keep them distracted, or quiet at least (I'm kidding about this...sort of. The truth is I really TRY to help my kids feel the spirit, but when attention spans are small, we call for reinforcements!). We had managed to get about 3/4 of the way through the meeting with no major problems. I was thinking this might be a fairly okay day. A 7 out of 10, maybe. I REALLY need to learn to stop counting my chickens...Asher had been asking for his Daddy for most of the meeting, which is not uncommon. He is usually happy with eye contact and a wave. Today, he wanted to GO to his Daddy, which is something I try to avoid so as to not establish bad habits, and quite frankly, I don't want my kids and their crazy antics on display for all the ward to see. He had tried to slip under the front bench (which was unoccupied) a few times, but I was quicker than him...except that once...yep, he got away. He went running up the ramp! I though, "Stay calm. He will go to Scott and then come right back." As he rounded the corner to where the choir seats are, he got a little distracted. Dad's not so appealing when there is space to run. He gave me that devilish look of his, squealed, jumped, and then took off at a dead run through the rows of choir seats, screaming and laughing all the way. Of coarse, I calmly (yea, right!) got up out of my seat and walked briskly toward him. At that point the Bishop alerted Scott to the situation, tell him that he may have to cut Asher off on the other side, because all of use know that the number one rule of chasing your kids is the faster you run, the faster they do. Scott didn't end up helping me, because one of the young men go there first. I was so thankful. It's not like Asher can out run me or anything, but I was first of all, wearing heels, and desperately trying not to make a fool of myself (too late). The worst part of it all, was that I was trying not to laugh the entire time I was chasing him. It's not that I thought it was funny, it was just seriously like, "This is NOT happening! This is NOT happening to ME!" By the time I sat down, my heart was beating a hundred miles per hour and I felt my face get redder by the minute. I'm sure it was not a big deal to anyone else. They probably thought it was cute and funny. That's what I would have thought if it were someone else. I just wish it didn't always have to be me!