Here's to You, Mom

Lately when I get up at night with my kids or do something else that requires sacrifice on my part, I've been trying to access the attitude that I have while I'm doing it. The other night when I was up with Asher, I was thinking to myself that I ought to enjoy this moment while it lasts, because someday my kids aren't going to need me. When I think of my life and the sacrifices I make, they usually involve my boys. And though they may seem like small things (giving up a favorite TV show to read books, giving up sleep - this happens a lot - to give comfort to a scared and crying toddler)they are still a sacrifice and in a large way make me feel like I have a place in the world, like I'm giving of myself and doing something great. One day they won't need me, and how will I feel? Will I feel like I'm making my contribution to the world? Will I be able to find other ways to give of myself? Because one day they won't need me, right? Right...... I was sharing these thoughts with my Mom, and she just sort of laughed. I asked her why, and she told me that I'll never need to worry about my kids not needing me. She said that when they are not little anymore and you are not getting up with them at night, you're sacrificing sleep by waiting up for them. And then you are losing sleep worrying if they are happy and making the right decisions. Then they have kids and you lay awake at night worrying about your grandkids. I had to laugh at myself. I'm really not sure why I was so worried about my kids not needing me and not needing me to sacrifice for them, because I need my mom so much. I have a great Mom. She goes above and beyond the call of "Grandmotherhood" and motherhood. I know I can always count on her. If I need her in the middle of the night, I know she is there. Even though in so many ways I feel all grown up, in a lot of ways I still feel like a little girl who needs her mom to kiss her "owies" better and cheer her on. My mom still sacrifices for me everyday, and it will probably always be that way. I don't know what I'd do without her. So, here's to you, Mom, on your birthday. Here's to the woman who has taught me so much about strength, and faith, and what true beauty really is, and the real meaning of sacrifice. I love you, Mom. Happy Birthday.